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Would she be okay with never being married in the temple. Before I would just take things as they came, internalize them, be miserable about it but not voice my concern in fear of being told that I can't handle his lifestyle. I volunteer every week, I put others before myself, etc. To be honest; we're not couples matching pretty disparate specialties not conducive to couples matching but we're matching by geography, so I guess we'll have to wait and see if we're still together after the match: Well I guess you can always ask him for a little clarification etc. Thanks for pointing this stuff out. You should take your cues from your partner, not from documentaries or this sub, on whether your partner's views and actions are manipulative, brainwashy and damaging. As an atheist with Buddhist undertones who married a non-practicing, god-believing Mormon at the height of his questioning, I find this so interesting to me. We feel good about our choices, but know it might not be the right path for everyone. Honestly a lovely man but the sheer focus of time and attention has meant there is little if any left for me, I'm lucky if I get 5 minutes in comparison with some nights of 2 hours going on and on and on about work.
You can't force her to change, nor should you if you could. Marriage is hard, period. It's all about timing, and you're in two different places. I think in most situations its either you join or she leaves- either you, or the church. Good luck with her, and good life to you. I loved being single, and I love dating him now, but demanding rotations are giving me an idea of what his surgical residency will be like except that I know it will be x I have spent hours and hours and hours on blogs like these, trying to understand if it will be worth it-- worth the very real possibility of losing my identity, of boxing myself in career-wise, of never being in control of where I live, of a thousand lonely nights. Better than freezing up and avoiding them altogether. Having read the majority of the posts, my only real comment is that "sacrifice must be appreciated by both parties". Honestly, he probably is giving you as much of his free time as he can,and can't give you any more. Yes; I suppose if each of us believe the other is brainwashed, there's going to be major problems later on.